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don't let it go to your head
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December 10, 2005
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i went back to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) defektive.
come visit me.
or add me.
or something.
kthxbye.
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May 23, 2004
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I GET MY CAST OFF IN TWO DAYS.
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April 15, 2004
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guess what! pam and i counted out the weeks on a calendar, and if i'm lucky, i'll only lose one week out of my summer to a cast! YES. buuuuuuuuut.. i'll probably be doing physical therapy for the rest of it. which shouldn't be too bad. i mean yes it's gonna hurt like piss and i'm gonna scream and cuss and probably even cry. but swimming is my favorite thing to do, and it's going to actually help my knee's recovery. so yes, i am in a temporary good mood. until i think about all the work that i have to do.
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April 13, 2004
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okay. i know i wrote a lot yesterday and that's why i haven't written anything yet today. i figured i'd give you time to digest that first.
so chapter 2 in the story.. the recovery process.
i had an evaluation this morning and i talked to the orthopaedic surgeon. he had a different story than the people at the hospital. originally i was told that i would have my first surgery sometime this week and that they would just take out the bottom third of my kneecap that i had broken off and unattach the tendons from it and reattach them to the bottom of what is left of my kneecap. but this surgeon said that they may be able to keep all of my knee and just reattach the bone. that's what i'm hoping for, because the whole process of drilling holes in my kneecap and attaching tendons with wires just does not sound comfortable. also, i'll need another surgery later on (three months later, i believe) to remove those wires. or, another option is to reattach the tendons with this other stuff that doesn't need to be removed. i don't like that idea either. personally i'm hoping that they can just reattach the bone and let me keep all of my kneecap.
whatever the case may be, they're going to take my immobilizer off and stick me in a cast. i've never had a cast before.. they don't look fun. i don't like the idea of not being able to get it wet. i think in that one second of missing a traffic light, i ruined my entire summer.
what a bummer.
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April 12, 2004
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um yeah.. i'm not going back to school for a while, so GUESS WHAT! you guys get to hear from me again.. yippee. please contain your excitement.
yes, the reason i am out of school. well, to put it simply, i am a complete idiot. that is what it all boils down to. everything was my fault and it's too late to take back now.
alright.. i was on my way to a softball tournament a little past 7:30 on saturday morning. of course it seems like every day that something horrible happens, the weather just doesn't seem to notice and makes it a perfectly beautiful day for everyone else. not a cloud in the sky. so i was driving down 19-41 towards griffin (that's a major highway for those of you not from georgia.. it's 3 or 4 lanes each direction) and amanda the idiot here just flat out did not see the traffic light. of course, my luck, the light was red.
so this light blue ranger crossed from the left, and a dark blue expedition crossed from the right. i slammed on the brakes and somehow missed the ranger, but i hit the expedition in the driver side door. since my foot had been on the brake, my leg was right up under the steering column, and upon impact the bottom third of my kneecap broke off. at the time i didn't know that it was broken, though. my first thought was to get out of the truck because - number one i was sitting on a highway, and number two, a crashed car always blows up in the movies. so i opened my door and leaned to get out, but my right leg just would not follow. and i looked down and saw how disgustingly deformed my kneecap was.
by that time some cars had stopped around us and people were calling the police and ambulances. i was on the phone with dad, then pam, then mom, then zack. i absolutely could not stop shaking the entire time i sat in my truck. a police car came first, but they never came to talk to me. then a fire truck came asked me if i was alright. i felt like screaming HELL NO, but i didn't.. i told him that my knee was broken and he leaned in to look over the steering wheel. he grimaced but didn't say anything and then went over to the expedition. the lady in the expedition was stuck in her car, the impact had jammed the door. i heard people saying that her hand looked pretty bad but they didn't say anything else.
the ambulance for me finally got there (i don't know why i didn't get the first one when the other lady was trapped in her car anyway, and the EMT lady made me get off the phone. i was afraid to because i didn't want to be alone with her. no one i that i called had arrived at the scene yet. so the lady took my phone and then her and 2 other people pulled me out of the truck and strapped me down to this board. moving my knee hurt more than anything i'd ever felt in my entire life. for the first time since the actual crash, i cried, but no tears came out. it was more like screaming than crying. so they put me and that board that i was strapped to on a stretcher, and then to further piss me off, strapped this thing around my neck and taped me down by my forehead so i absolutely could not move.
then they took the stretcher to the ambulance, and every bump made me scream again (i've never broken a bone before so i was a real wimp about it). in the ambulance the EMT was this guy who had a permanently scared look on his face and was freaking me out. he put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and said it would make me feel better. i wonder if they think people actually believe their lies. oxygen? make me feel better? when my knee is in two peices? i think not. the georgia state trooper that was writing the accident report poked his head inside the ambulance and asked what color the traffic light had been. that was the first time i realized that it had been my fault.. i had thought that the expedition pulled out in front of me. so i told the trooper the truth that i didn't know there was a light.
so the EMT took my blood pressure and all that other crap, and tried to cut my hoodie off to do it. i told him no, he couldn't do that, so he bunched up the sleeve and worked around it. he started an IV in the crook of my elbow and said he was only giving me water to keep it from closing up. the hospital might give me something else in it. that was my first needle of the day. (i'm not scared of needles but i had one too many that day)
after jumping like 50 million curbs and making me wail some more, we finally got to the hospital. one of the guys, i think he had been the driver, tried to make a joke and said that i had a room with a view. except.. i didn't know he was kidding and i couldn't look to see because i was strapped down to a board. so lots of people kept coming in and out and asking me my name and birthdate over and over again. they redid all the vital signs and took blood (needle 2). somewhere along the line i got a tetanus shot because i had broken the skin on my hips - needle three (seatbelt burns? underwear burns? who knows..). they told me that i was probably just banged up and nothing broken, but of course i knew they were lying because i had seen the broken bone under the skin myself.
the first person to get to the hospital was zack and his mom. once they got there i finally cried for real. and boy did i cry. on and on. my mom came next, and i absolutely balled when i saw her. (i dont live with my mom anymore and i dont consider myself dependent on a mothers love) but i did not want her to leave my side the entire time i was in the hospital. my ex stepmom came next, and i wished i hadnt told dad to ask her to come.. the only reason i had said yes for her to come was because she was the closest to the scene. but she never made it. my grandparents came next, and my grandmother made a terrible scene. she cried more than i did, which was a LOT. everyone being there was hurting more than it was helping, i was still shaking and making my knee hurt worse with every twitch, and i felt like i was just being stared at. dad and pam were the last to get there, because they had been all the way up at the lake, an hour and a half away.
but by the time they got there, i still hadnt gotten any pain medication or been x-rayed, and i was still just laying in the bed shaking. (i had finally been unstrapped from the board though, thank god. i think the board was more terrifying than the accident) finally a lady came in and gave me a shot of something that didnt stop the pain but at least made me stop shaking - that was needle number four. and i was off to be x-rayed. of course the jerking my knee around hurt like a bitch, and the x-ray technician wasnt very nice about it, either.
so i was back to the hospital bed, and people slowly started to leave. rebecca left first, she hadnt been needed in the first place. then my mom left. she had tried to leave earlier but i wanted her to stay. she had brought JJ and austin with her, and i think i scared austin when i cried because i saw him. but i talked to him on the phone and he knows that i am okay now.
they finally came in and put my leg in an immobilizer, this big strappy thing that doesnt let my knee move. and they gave me crutches, but i only used those for the first day because they piss me off. so now im hobbling around on this immobilizer and just bracing on the wall when i need a break. putting pressure on it doesnt hurt at all, but when i go to sit down or get up.. yeah that hurts like a mofo.
so all in all, i didnt come out that badly. the state trooper said i was really lucky. he had seen a lot of accidents, being a trooper, and he said it was a miracle that he was able to sit and ask me questions about the accident and get a sane answer. it's hard to think that if any one thing had been different, if i had forgotten my seatbelt, or my airbag hadnt deployed, that i wouldnt be here right now to write this. i dont think many people walk away from 65 mph crashes with only a broken kneecap and seatbelt burns on your hips.
and the other lady, by the way, is okay. well, according to her husband. in reality she was unconscious and bleeding out the ear, but if her husband said she was okay, ill choose to believe him. but they ran some tests on her and found out she was pregnant and she couldnt be x-rayed. i never heard anything after that.
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March 10, 2004
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wake up. school. homework. sleep. wake up. school. homework. sleep. wake up. school. homework. sleep. wake up. school. homework. sleep.wakeup.school.homework.sleep.wakeup.school.homework.sleep.wakeupschoolhomeworksleepwakeupschoolhomeworksleep.
what a big blob.
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| pink27hippo: Deep thoughts with Amanda. |
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March 10, 2004
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pink27hippo: hey amanda
ringp0px: uh huh
pink27hippo: if i were a tree, i'd get up and walk around...
pink27hippo: i mean don't you think trees get bored just sitting there all day?>\
pink27hippo: i mean granted they sway occaisonally
ringp0px: i bet they choke on the nasty air
ringp0px: i wouldnt want to be a tree
pink27hippo: yea...why do trees shed their leaves in the winter
pink27hippo: it's like they're nakie...
pink27hippo: and it's cold
ringp0px: unless i was a redwood, then id be tall. and people would come from far away to see me
ringp0px: but.. the leaves die. would you wanna be dressed in something dead?
ringp0px: well you are
ringp0px: most of the skin we see is dead
pink27hippo: exactly
pink27hippo: as least i'd be warm
ringp0px: but leaves dont keep them warm
pink27hippo: it's like going skinny dipping in winter
ringp0px: they dont cover their trunk.. which would be like their legs
ringp0px: it would be like wearing panty hose on your abdomen and thats it
ringp0px: that would be very warm anyway
ringp0px: wouldnt*
pink27hippo: well in that case.
pink27hippo: If I were a tree, I'd go out and buy some pants.
ringp0px: hahaha
ringp0px: well that solves it
pink27hippo: Deep thoughts with Amanda.
pink27hippo: ha
pink27hippo: if we're like this when we're straight could you imagine us high?
ringp0px: id be a cactus anyway.. cause then id be all juicy and i wouldnt choke on polluted air cause id be in the middle of nowhere
ringp0px: are you kidding we would be cool as hell if we were high.. you cant imagine the deepness of the conversations wed ahve
ringp0px: have*
pink27hippo: haha
pink27hippo: you know what i'm afraid of
ringp0px: whats that
pink27hippo: a feather
ringp0px: how come?
pink27hippo: honest question....
pink27hippo: deserves an honest answer
pink27hippo: first of all.
pink27hippo: did i tell you it's a poison feather?
ringp0px: no lol
ringp0px: must have slipped your mind
pink27hippo: yea. it's poison
ringp0px: and where did this poison feather come from?
pink27hippo: i don' tknow
pink27hippo: i guess a flamingo
pink27hippo: that has a rose in it's mouth
ringp0px: you drank the seawater didnt you
pink27hippo: what's seawater.
ringp0px: water.. that comes from the sea..
pink27hippo: i want seawater
pink27hippo: where can i get some?
ringp0px: from.. the sea..
pink27hippo: i bet if i mixed salt with water it's taste just like it.
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February 25, 2004
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georgia weather is miserable. i should go to hawaii more often.
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February 9, 2004
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okay here's what i got for my bday.
finding nemo DVD, breakfast on my bday, and cupcakes for our homeroom [zack]
xbox (3rd in our house), DDR ultramix, and 2 dance pads [dad and pam]
remains of an old acoustic guitar and balloons (KIM POSSIBLE!) [peaches]
old navy shirt and snowman boxers [casie]
little mermaid mirror, brush, and comb set [grandmommy and granddaddy]
$20 [brandi and drew]
$15 [brooke and tara]
$20 [the nicks]
no gift from mommy yet. and pam's gift is still pending (i can either have a snake or some stuff done to my truck, i haven't decided yet and i can't have it until i come back from hawaii anyway). oh and brandon traded belts with me (for my bday lol) because i've been jealous of his since 9th grade. but it doesn't fit me very well and i miss mine so i might have to either trade back or trade another one for it.
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February 5, 2004
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
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January 15, 2004
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I. HATE. SCHOOL.
and it's really stupid that i feel really guilty for not being able to update this, which makes me feel stupid as well.. AND IT ALL JUST ADDS TO THE FRUSTRATION OF MY HATING-SCHOOL-NESS.
and my dad is feeling the burn of my hatred right now too. but we won't get into that.
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January 11, 2004
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wow. calendar girl sucks. it was really lame and boring. i have decided that i will never do that again.
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January 5, 2004
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YAY i got my calendar girl dress. pictures soon, i guess?
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January 4, 2004
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wow. i am home. finally. dad is still in the party stage and it makes for not-so-good sleep at night for me. but i can also get away with stuff like zack sleeping in my bed, and dad can't really say anything about it because he was too trashed to care.
at the moment i'm marveling at the fact that i didn't wake up until 3: today, and now that it's past 4:, i'm wondering when zack will be back from paintball with dad and drew and whoever else decided to go with them.
my room has yet again become trashed. my obsessive compulsive self has to go clean it.
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December 19, 2003
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i have this damned cough that just won't get out of my system. but you know what. school is OVER. i don't CARE. i'm through, i fucking made it through the whole semester without killing myself or anyone around me. i think i should be rewarded majorly.
zack and i are going to brandon's birthday party like five minutes from here. he thought it started at 7:30 but i though 7:, so we're going at 7:15 because i think i'm right and i want to be fashionably late. speaking of fashionably late.. i had to explain the concept of that to him. what a tard. i still don't think he gets it. he "understands, but he just doesn't understand why."
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December 19, 2003
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ugggg that beef-a-roni upset my stomach. DAMNIT.
but hey, i'm out of school, so life couldn't be better, not with a million bucks. well okay yeah it could be better. even without the million bucks, now that i think about it..... odd.
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December 18, 2003
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my jaws are sore from gritting my teeth so hard for so long. jesus i'll be so freaking happy when i get out of school tomorrow.
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December 17, 2003
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i'm so FRUSTRATED and i don't even really know what with. i guess just life. today wasn't terribly horrible, just the usual damn-this-sucks type thing. but since i got in the car to come home.. i've just been kinda bleh. i'm tired but if i take a nap i won't be able to get to sleep tonight. i already did my usual boredom routine.. clean my room, do homework as a last resort. but there is no homework. and i already cleaned my room. i even cleaned out under my desk. hotdamn!
my atari is calling my name.. i must comply.
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December 16, 2003
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today was lame. that is all.
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